Friday, February 21, 2014

I'm Too Busy To Be Creative.

For the last 2 years, I've been able to gather up the time to get really creative for the girls' birthdays. This year is so different- Holly is going to be five next Friday and I can't imagine throwing a party.

All through university I was blessed enough not have to work- school was my job.
This round of college, I've had to stay working to be able to afford life and at this point, halfway through the semester, I realize how hard it is.

I tweeted about this the other day- I frequently find myself spending all day working on tedious school work, then having to pick up Holly from the bus and immediately start getting ready to go to work until 9:30 p.m..

I mean, sure, 9:30 isn't late. But really, when I have to wake up at 6:40 a.m. everyday to get Holly ready for school and start the same routine over again, it gets exhausting. Don't get me wrong, I don't work every day- only part-time. It's just the sheer difference between not working to doing it all. 
Playing so many roles (mom, girlfriend, student, worker, and all the other jobs that come along with being a mom) is harder for me right now than it's ever been.

It's weird, everything has been awesome and I've been really happy. I think that's because I thrive under pressure. The only thing that's been getting to me is that this year, for the sheer reason that I don't have the time or resources, is that I can't give Holly a really cool themed party.
We've found a good alternative in choosing to go to a Waterpark with just our immediate family, but it really still kills me that I don't have time to give her a party like I have years before.

Ahhh, the struggles of parenthood. If there's one thing this post tells me, it's that the work-life balance is really hard. I'm dealing best I can, but I've only been at this for 2 months.

How do you balance work and life?

(Check out some of my past birthday project here, here, here, here, here and here)

Wednesday, January 22, 2014


Via Tumblr

This is my first time writing in 2014. I took a little bit of a break simply because I wanted to- and isn't that exactly what blogging is supposed to be? Anyways, back to the point. At the end of 2013, I was feeling a little lost. I'd been blogging a lot about how terrible I was feeling since graduating University and about how I was stuck in a slump. I was trying to make a huge decision about going back and doing some post-grad schooling, was having mini-meltdowns before and after work at least once a week, and I wasn't doing anything except watching Netflix on my days off.

Years ago, I was diagnosed with depression and after I had Holly I also struggled with postpartum depression. After so many years of dealing with my own ups and downs, I've become extremely self aware and realized that I was starting to become depressed. I knew something had to change.

Enter 2014.

This year has started out better than I could have ever imagined. I'm honestly on cloud nine about how much I've already accomplished this year, and even more so about how optimistic I feel about the rest of it.

2014 began with me realizing what I had to do- figure it out. I started doing what I know best- journaling, spending time with Chris and my girls, and really taking the time to think about what I needed. I ended up making a decision and within a weeks time, starting school again. As of right now, I'm taking part-time graduate studies in human resources management to add to my degrees. I'm really happy about that. I've also made some intense decisions regarding my health and decided to stop taking medications I've been on since I was 18. That's been a struggle, but I'm working through it. Finally, I've changed my state of mind. Creativity has always been my outlet, but sometimes I forget that it's something I need to do to avoid getting all up inside my own head, so with 2014 came a whole bunch of writing and a whole bunch of drawing and painting.

I feel significantly better. I feel on track. I feel like I'm not struggling anymore.
I've always had an issue with getting restless when my life doesn't feel like it's progressing, and I no longer feel restless.

2014 feels like an amazing year so far, and I can't wait to see what happens during the rest of it.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Halloween 2013


Happy November 1st!
Halloween is over, and although it was quite terrible this year, Holly muffin had an amazing time.

Let's gush over some photos of my little rainbow glitter unicorn...

Basically, it was extremely rainy and windy last night. The weather forced me to make a 3 o'clock run to Walmart for rain boots and ponchos so we wouldn't want to give up come trick-or-treating. It was really gross.

We took our umbrellas and headed out to a local sub division around 6:15. We were out for about an hour an a half, and to my surprise, Holly really stuck it out. She didn't complain one time, and even asked to continue after our first rest break. It also helped that I purchased her costume in a bigger size to accommodate for warm clothes and managed to fit her entire raincoat underneath the dress. Her costume also came with a warm, furry hood and her rain boots matched her outfit perfectly.

In the end, she scored a ton of candy (only one mint!) and had a ton of fun. I'm super excited that Halloween is over because I really wasn't feeling it this year...and now I can focus on Christmas!

How was your Halloween?

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I Look A Lot Older Than I Am

When I was younger, probably around 17, people started telling me I looked a lot older than I was. Ever since then, it's become kind of a trend.
When I turned 19 and became of legal age to buy alcohol in Canada, it took me almost a year to ever get ID'd at a liquor store. I still rarely get ID'd for anything.

When I started working retail about 6 months ago, I began interacting with a ton of women everyday, mostly middle aged and elderly. Over the past few months I've been repeatedly hearing small references to my age- but it's no where near my actual age.

The average guess seems to be anywhere from 28-32.
I actually just turned 23.

I must admit that I do know why this happens. I think not only have I always looked older, but I dress older than I am (in comparison to other girls my age that I know), I talk about my kids and house, and I'm probably in the same mindset as someone 28-32 years of age.

The problem is that I guess it's been on my mind a lot lately. It doesn't exactly bother me, I just think about it a lot. If I lost weight would I look younger? Should I dress differently? When I'm 30 am I going to look 50?

I think it gets to me because my mom and grandma both look fairly young. Also, Chris looks exceptionally young for his age so sometimes I feel like he looks like my younger brother. He gets ID'd for everything and people constantly make references to the fact that he looks like he's 15. I worry that when we're 40, he'll look 20 and I'll look 60. Scary.

I can't lie, I've already started using anti-aging products (although I know they probably won't work). I know I probably shouldn't think about it as much as I do because it's rather unchangeable, but I can't help it. I guess I've discovered a new area to be self conscious about, which is just awesome. 

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